“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
Sarah and Mike: different cases, same issue
Sarah drives to work and arrives frustrated and on the warpath almost every day. When she drives, she has feels highly irritated by the music on the radio, throws a fit when road workers slow the traffic down, lashes out against fellow drivers who are not quick enough to her liking by aggressively beeping, flashing her lights and even shouting at them. The policeman coordinating the morning jam is an idiot, too, quite obviously.
By the time Sarah begins her workday, she is wound like a spring and ready to throw a fit about any minor incident – and usually she does. She is known to have shouted and thrown things at people. At work, her coworkers consider her to have a “temper”, nevertheless, she is good at her job. In reality, Sarah has a serious, recurring anger management problem. It is highly likely that she would need professional help to improve the situation.
Consider the case of Mike. He is a nice guy who lives in a nice house with a nice wife and their equally nice kids. On the outside, they are the perfect family. But Mike – just like Sarah – has a temper. He often has outbursts over nothing, be it the quality of the dinner, dust on a shelf, or the bark of the dog; and he often lifts his hand against members of his family. This is a clear case of domestic violence – and the source of his violence is the fact that Mike has a serious anger management problem. He absolutely needs to get help for this issue before he seriously hurts someone. The law, should protection be sought by his family or witnesses, would almost certainly order him to commit to professional help.
Unfortunately unhealthy ways of dealing with anger can send people on a downward spiral of increasingly verbally and physically abusive behaviour.
How do you handle your anger?
Anger is a natural part of life. When we are frustrated, when things do not go our way we might find ourselves confronted with anger. Many of us are capable of handling this negative feeling as part of our lives. Perhaps we vent out our frustration a little bit, with passive aggressive comments, smoking or nail-biting to relieve the feeling, but we go on.
But some of us literally cannot control anger. These people vent their anger in unhealthy, unproductive ways, such as throwing things, screaming at people, and hitting people. Some people direct their anger inwards and become depressed – they do not even know that anger is their real problem. Quite often people only begin to understand that anger is the source of their depression after many months in therapy.
If you think that your depression might be linked to anger, of if you have symptoms like Sarah or Mike, counselling can help you to take control back in your life.
What is anger management? Why anger management?
Anger management is not about getting rid of the feeling of anger. It’s about understanding and controlling the mechanisms behind your anger. It is about coming to realise what triggers the aggression. It’s about teaching you techniques to manage and express your anger in a controlled manner. Therapy can also help you to handle the underlying issues that are behind your emotions and reactions – sometimes anger is just covering up other emotions such as sadness.
Last but not least, anger management counselling will enhance your self-esteem. It also improves your relationships with other people as you are able to trust in one another, accept and grow both as an individual and together. If you would like to discuss your anger with a P-Therapist just book a free 20 minute consultation session now, or if you’re ready to commit to working on managing your anger better book your first session with your chosen P-Therapist now.
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